The Uncertainty of Others
Other people expose us to uncertainty. We usually think of that as a risk to manage. But the same uncertainty that makes disappointment possible may also be what allows a relationship to transform us.
The skipper got sick. His performance degraded progressively. We took rest days. We shortened our passages. We kept hoping that tomorrow would be better than today.
Eventually, we had to admit what we had been trying not to see. He was no longer fit to sail. It was time for him to leave the boat and go home.
The boat stopped moving.
I lost several weeks that I had counted on to reach key milestones before the Alaska sailing season began to close.
When we think about the uncertainty other people bring into our lives, this is usually the first scenario that comes to mind: dependence on someone who cannot or will not deliver.
It is the supplier who misses the deadline. The employee whose performance never meets expectations. The business partner who exploits our vulnerability. The details differ, but the pattern is familiar.
The possibility of being let down is what leads some people to build companies alone or sail solo. If other people are a source of uncertainty, removing them from our lives seems like a way to reduce risk.
But when people enter our lives, they bring with them a different kind of uncertainty. Not a liability to protect against, but something that sits on the other side of the ledger.